Thursday, July 26, 2018

Putin Confirms Size of Trump’s Hands

MOSCOW—Soon after returning home from the recent Helsinki summit, Russian President Vladimir Putin met with members of the Federal Council and State Duma to finally lay to rest the question foremost on that country’s mind:

How big, exactly, are Donald Trump’s hands?

During a 2016 nationally televised debate between Republican Presidential candidates, Trump assured an anxious nation regarding the size of his hands, saying "I guarantee you there's no problem.”

At the time, the Russian government dismissed the claims as propaganda, characterizing the obnoxious boast as the sort of “psy ops” more appropriate to the tension-filled days of the Cold War. 

Still, a seemingly insecure Putin made a point of being photographed shirtless while hunting, fishing, and horseback riding. One picture, later censored, shows Putin choking a trout.

After the collegial meeting in Helsinki between the two world leaders,  Putin told Russian lawmakers that President Trump’s hands were indeed “huge.” But Democrats on Capitol Hill said Putin’s remarks were further evidence of collusion between Trump and Russia.

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