Friday, July 20, 2018

Even Animal Kingdom Perplexed by State of the Nation, Say Zoologists

ETOWAH, GA—After studying thousands of pictures of adorable pets posted on social media, zoologists have concluded that even the animal kingdom is deeply troubled by the current state of national affairs.

“You can see it in their expressions, especially with dogs” explained Lars Lundehund, chief zoologist for the Atlanta Zoological Association. “Anxious, perplexed, at times even exasperated.”

“Of course, the cats all just look disgusted,” he added.

Noting a dramatic uptick in darling photos of cute pets with heads tilted, Lundehund and his colleagues pored over 105,000 pictures posted online by users of Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter—although certain key data culled from SnapChat were lost within seconds.

Lundehund insists that the $2 million study, funded entirely through Federal grants awarded during the Obama Administration, was completely free of any political bias. 

“Still, it’s hard to escape the conclusion,” said Lundehund. “Even your Lab-Shepherd mix thinks the President is a moron.”

#     #     #

All photos by the amazing Pam Doughty.

The views and opinions expressed are those of the reporter alone and/or persons cited in the above article, and do not necessarily reflect the views of the cats and dogs. Especially the cats.

Support your local animal shelter: Adopt a pet, make a donation, or even become a volunteer.  

Please spay or neuter your animals. 

Especially the cats. 

No comments:

Post a Comment