SEATTLE, WA—The nation’s largest food and drink retailer Starbucks will soon offer coffee enemas, the company announced on Friday.
Customers unmoved by the high caffeine content of a Venti espresso roast or Trenta Cold Brew will now have more menu options, explained Starbucks spokesperson Sequoia Moon-Smith.
The chain will feature several exciting new selections, including “Pike Place Shuffle” and “Thirty Seconds of Sumatra.”
Moon-Smith noted that customers opting for these beverage alternatives may first want to make sure that store’s restroom is not already occupied by a nonpaying customer.
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